


And So We Soldier On

by TwoHornpipes



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Alternating, Team as Family, except k2 sorry buddy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-25
Packaged: 2018-09-12 04:32:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9055510
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoHornpipes/pseuds/TwoHornpipes
Summary: It also hits him that if this was a kinder, more forgiving world, he would want to share more moments like this with the pilot.-(most of) the team lives, they move on.





	

**Author's Note:**

> WHEEZES it's done! I came out of Rogue One emotionally devastated and poured that into my first long fic and first fic that I've posted online! I hope you guys enjoy!

They don't have much time. If they’re going to do this, they’re doing it now. Cassian does last-minute checks on supplies as Bodhi’s chatting on about anything that comes to his mind as he preps the ship, letting out his anxiety, filling the silence with anything that comes to mind. Cassian responds back every once in a while, encouraging Bodhi to keep on with the steady stream of dialogue they have going on.

Cassian rests for a second as Bodhi is reminiscing about a certain route he used to fly, his hands illustrating and emphasizing his words when they aren’t making adjustments and fiddling with switches on the ship. He is in his zone and comfortable, a small smile on his face and his eyes alight as he recalls a joke his co-pilot at the time had told him.

It hits Cassian then that he hadn’t seen Bodhi this comfortable in the short time he has known him.

It also hits him that if this was a kinder, more forgiving world, he would want to share more moments like this with the pilot.

\--

Jyn stared defiantly as Krennic readied his blaster, ready for the shot.The transmission was ready. Krennic had lost. No matter if the shot killed her or not she would make damn sure those plans were sent.

The blaster rings true, but it's not Krennic’s. Krennic slumps over, an exit wound exhuming smoke from his upper torso. 

Bodhi lowers the blaster he's holding in one hand, his other arm helping prop up a concussed Cassian who is putting pressure on his own wound. Jyn lets out a breath, relieved as she limps forward to the transmission monitor.

“Are you okay?” Bodhi, asks as he adjusts his hold on Cassian, who is trying his best to keep his focus and his eyes open. Bodhi is covered in dirt and soot, looking like he just barely avoided being roasted alive.

Jyn nods as she hits the transmission button, just now becoming aware of the weariness seeping into her bones. She glances over at her two partners, taking note of the singes and fresh burn wounds Bodhi is sporting and how Cassian seems to be draining as the seconds go on. _We all must be running on pure adrenaline now_ Jyn rationalizes. She nods in response to Bodhi’s question.

She moves away from the transmission terminal, taking in the sight of Krennic’s body on the ground, still taking breath. The man in white. Jyn moves towards him, wanting him dead, wanting him to suffer under her hands just as much as she has suffered under his. The man in white who lay in the corner of her nightmares. The man in white who took her father away, who killed her mother.

“Jyn.” Cassian calls out weakly. “Jyn, come on.”

She turns back to her companions.

“It’ll be alright Jyn.” Cassian assures her, taking the hand that was applying pressure off his wound to reach out for her.

Jyn takes a breath. She gives one last look of contempt towards Krennic before limping towards Bodhi and Cassian. She takes Cassian’s free arm, helping Bodhi support him while also applying pressure to the wound.

“We need to leave right now. I have a ship on the level above where I found Cassian. The way back should be clear. Baze and Chirrut are already aboard.” Bodhi says as they slowly start to move towards the elevator.

The Death Star sits on the horizon, her father’s legacy, what lead her here. It looks down on them oppressively from its place in the sky. Jyn suddenly feels significantly smaller than she is.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

\--

The sting of the smell of bacta is the first thing he senses when he wakes up. As his eyes flutter open he realizes he has no idea where he currently is at the moment. At this thought his chest starts to constrict. His last memories were of him attempting to make the last calculations for hyperspace, trying his best to outrun the ever-growing light of the aftershock that seemed to consume everything surrounding their ship at a growing speed.

His breathing hitches as his body starts registering the pain he is now in. His mind overloading, trying to simultaneously take stock of where he is and what is going on and cope with the feeling that he is on fire. He wonders for a second that maybe they had been captured by the Imperials and he is being put through one of their torture regimens. He then realizes the Imperials would not be so kind and that they would’ve just been shot down.

It’s then that a familiar voice reaches him.

“Bodhi? Bodhi, breathe you’re safe, we made it back to the rebel base. You’re in the med bay.”

Med bay. Rebel base. So, not dead. No Imperials. That’s something.

His body is still screaming and his chest stutters as he attempts to take in a breath, but he breathes in and out all the same, trying to keep a steady flow of air to calm his brain that now feels like its soaring through space at light speed.

He hears the familiar voice confer with someone and an arm appears in his vision and fiddles with and apparatus that’s hooked up to a bunch of tubes that presumably are also connected to him. He feels a warmth as the pain in his body start to numb and settle. He takes a sigh of relief that ends in a coughing rattle.

The familiar voice thanks a second person as they leave. The drugs that are numbing the pain he is in are probably the cause for why it takes him awhile to register the familiar voice as Jyns’.

“Is everyone alright?” He asks, his voice slurred and rusty. He hopes he had been able to get their whole crew to safety, if Jyn being by his side was any indication.

“We’re all together. For the most part. Baze and Chirrut are in the next beds over and Cassian was temporarily released. There’s been a development so he’s in a meeting right now.”

“And you?”

“I’ve had worse.”

Bodhi attempts to nod his head which does nothing but make his entire world spin. Silence fills the air and Bodhi feels like maybe he should say something.

“Thank you. For getting us out.” Jyn provides, sincere.

“‘s no problem.” Bodhi replies feeling sluggish, the full effect of the drugs finally fully hitting his system.

“You should get some sleep. You’ve earned it.”

Bodhi attempts to nod again, which comes out more as a lazy twitch, his eyes fluttering close as he waits for sleep to fully take him.

The last thing he hears before going back under is a voice that unmistakably belongs to Cassian.

“They’ve found her. The plans are safe.”

\--

The last sight he remembers of his husband was him passed out on the ship, his life seeming to fluctuate right before Baze’s eyes. Baze remembers then praying to the force for what seemed the first time in many years to give him this, to just give him this one thing.

To let his husband live.

When he awakes in the med bay on the rebel base he aches dully, the light reminder he’s not the young assassin he once was. He still draws breath however, something he is thankful of.

His next immediate thought then turns to Chirrut. If he had not survived after everything, Baze is not sure what he would do.

“Baze… Baze..” He hears from the bed next to his, his husband calling out for him. He gingerly lifts himself from the medical cot, ignoring the protests his body makes and kneels next to Chirrut's side, ready to help.

“I am here Chirrut.”

The familiar, playful smile Chirrut wears appears and Baze is comforted by the sight.

“You should call an attendant, my eyesight is completely gone! That can’t be a good sign.”

Baze huffs a laugh and shakes his head, it's a good sign at least that Chirrut’s usual humor still remains.

“That is a problem, I’ll contact them at once.” He replies. He reaches for his husband’s hand, longing for his touch. He massages the top of Chirrut’s hand with his thumb, taking note of the new scars that fleck his skin. He lets out a sigh, comforted by the fact that Chirrut is still here and drawing breath.

“It seems that I was wrong. The force did protect you.”

“It did. Although, it wasn’t the one who carried me off the battlefield.” Chirrut squeezes Baze’s hand with about as much strength as he could muster at the moment.

“The force will always be with us Baze. And it will always bring me back to you.”

Baze is reminded of their wedding ceremony years ago by those words. He thinks of the phrase Chirrut said then and still uses as his mantra.

They are one with the force and the force is with them.

\--

The rumors say that the one who saved the princess is a Jedi, that the force guided his hand when he was in his x-wing and helped him destroy the Death Star. Cassian isn’t sure if he believes that, but he was in the command room when they got the news. He remembers trying to hold together despite still not being fully healed from Scarif. He remembers relief flooding over him when the voice crackles over the comm.

“Skywalker’s done it!”

The fight for the plans had been worth it. They’ve gained a foothold in the fight.

\--

There is a medal ceremony. Their crew along with the 3 who destroyed the Death Star. It’s a bit too fantasy for him, almost like the thing is a dream he came up with in his delirious state on Scarif.

They’re all still a bit ruffled and not all the way fully recovered from the battle, Cassian’s arm still in a sling, Baze and Bodhi sporting visible, shiny burn scars not all the way healed. But still they stand there before the crowd together, proud, alive.

 _Maybe, just maybe the world can be forgiving at times_ Cassian thinks as he tilts his head forward as Princess Leia rewards him with his medal.

He glances over next to him as Bodhi receives his medal, the man looking at the gold disk that marks him a hero with a strange reverence, as if he never expected to be worthy of such a reward. Cassian can’t think of anyone else more deserving.

Baze and Chirrut receive their medals. Chirrut closes his eyes in silent prayer, thanking the force for their victory and safety. The princess then moves on to the two who helped her escape and destroy the Death Star, sharing a moment with them. She steps away and the assembly then breaks out in applause, congratulating the heroes before them.

 _Against all odds. For now,_ Cassian muses.

\--

Cassian cooks them dinner. It’s been 2 weeks since Scarif, and they’ve only just been granted clearance from the med bay, Bodhi being the last one released. The dinner was a private thing they all had planned together. A celebration for Bodhi, having been released from the med bay finally, and a celebration for them all for surviving the impossible.

It’s a bit difficult to create an edible celebration meal on rations, especially when rations are being stretched thin with the rumors of the rebellion moving bases to Hoth going around, and Cassian’s room isn’t the most spacious of places to host, but Bodhi’s expression when Jyn brings him in and he sees everything is worth it Cassian figures.

They sit around the small makeshift table, trading stories, taking in each other's company after the past hectic weeks they’ve shared.

“Where are you from pilot? Your presence feels familiar.” Chirrut asks.

“Jedha, actually.” Bodhi answers.

Baze nods in approval. Cassian, Bodhi, and Jyn sit in silence, the thought of Jedha’s fate lingering in the back of their minds. Chirrut smiles.

“Jedha. Tell me, did you ever visit the temple?”

Bodhi shakes his head. “Never inside, I never had the chance to.”

“A shame. The temple used to be the center of Jedha.” Chirrut recounts his time at the temple, with some added comments from Baze. Bodhi follows along, replying back with his own memories of their home planet. The three men finding comfort sharing what remained of their home with each other and their friends.

“I do remember, a rather memorable interaction Baze had outside of the temple.” Chirrut teases.  
Baze groans at his husband’s bringing up of the memory, their younger friends urging them to tell the story.

“It was before Chirrut and I had married, we were visiting the local marketplace and when we were to return to the temple we found we had a tag along.”

Chirrut nods. “A small boy had mistaken Baze for his father and had become attached to him. You should have seen Baze’s face! I almost thought he was going to adopt the child himself, he was charmed by the young one.”

During the telling of the story Bodhi’s brow furrowed in thought.

“Did the boy’s mother work at the market?” He asked them.

“She did! I can’t remember exactly what she sold, but I remember the relief she showed at the return of her son. And Baze’s dismay.” Chirrut answered.

“That was me! I remember her telling me that story!” Bodhi exclaimed, his face lighting up.

The group shares a moment of laughter, the lighthearted tone of their conversation lifting their spirits. Amongst the laughter, Cassian catches Bodhi’s eye and he thinks back to their shared moment preparing the ship together. _A kinder world_ He thinks, as Bodhi shares a smile with him before turning his attention back to Chirrut who was asking him more about their meeting those years ago.

Jyn nudges Cassian’s side. He realizes he has pushed his food around his plate, paying more attention to the conversation that had been going on.

“The food’s great.” She compliments, giving him a knowing look.

Cassian knows she’s not really talking about the food and elects to ignore the added meaning to her comment.

\--

They’re cramped in the ship with other members of the rebellion en route to Hoth. Bodhi and Cassian face each other, a game of sabacc before them that they’re playing to pass the time on the trip. Jyn sits next to Bodhi, watching the game and providing her own commentary to the moves they're making.

This also happens to be the fourth round Cassian has lost to the pilot.

“I don’t get how you keep winning these.” Cassian says as Bodhi’s hand beats his yet again.

Bodhi shrugs, smirking as he takes his winnings. “Just have to think on your feet my friend.”

“I do!”

“I guess sabacc isn’t one of his many talents.” Jyn teases, her and Bodhi sharing a look.

Cassian rolls his eyes. “Maybe you’d like to take Jyn in a match? It would save me from losing all my credits”

“What makes you think I’d be able to beat him if you couldn't?” Jyn asks. “I’ve been sitting next to him the entire time and I still don’t have a read on his tactics.”

Cassian sighs defeated. “Well Bodhi, you’ve established yourself as king of sabacc. You are just full of surprises.”

“It’s just a game of cards.” Bodhi laughs, brushing the compliment aside.

“It’s also a useful talent to have.” Cassian provides.

Bodhi shrugs. “I guess. I mostly played it to get my mind off things you know?”

Cassian nods. The ship stutters around them as it’s been prone to do every once in a while on their journey.

“We should play some more once we find some time around base. Maybe by then I’ll have enough of a read on your tactics to win some of my money back.”

“I’d like that.” Bodhi replies, his smile sends a feeling of warmth that settles in Cassian. Cassian realizes they’ve both been smiling a bit more recently.

\--

They end up sharing quarters together on Hoth. It makes the most sense to them, they’re familiar with each other and their patterns at this point.

They have rough nights. Bodhi wakes up in sweat, mouth dry, swearing he can still feel the tentacles filing through his mind, expanding and compressing all of his thoughts and scrubbing him raw. Cassian sees the men he’s killed for his cause, his parents. He sees a bright light on the horizon in his dreams that seems to consume him and the entire world.

They both end up playing sabacc on these nights. Trying to find solace in each other and fight back against the shadows that lie in the corners of their minds.

“I joined up to help feed my mother.” Bodhi says as he looks over his cards, looking for the right combination to play. “We never had any love for the Imperials, but it was either that or starve.”

Cassian goes over his own hand of cards, contemplating both them and what Bodhi has told him.

“I used to throw bottles and rocks at troopers when I was younger. I just wanted to fight.” He shakes his head, making a final decision on the cards he’s going to play.

They play their hands, Cassian’s wins. He lets out a surprised laugh, and Bodhi smiles at the captain's surprise.

“You’re learning.” He compliments.

“Maybe I’ll be able to finally beat you at a round.”

He doesn’t win the round, but the good feeling they share helps them return back to bed to be able to take advantage of however much longer they have to sleep.

“We both came out stronger, didn't we?” Cassian hears Bodhi ask from his side of their room.

“We did.”

\--

Bodhi wakes up next to the engine of the ship he was working on, not remembering when he fell asleep. With Hoth’s temperature, falling asleep in the hangar can be extremely dangerous. Luckily there was still pilots present so at least someone would’ve woken him before it got dangerous.

After taking stock of where he was, Bodhi notices a weight on his shoulders. Upon investigation Bodhi realizes the weight draped over him was the familiar winter coat Cassian liked to wear. At the sight of it, he feels like he could fly.

\--

Cassian wakes in the night, hearing shouts from Bodhi’s side of the room. The pilot is sitting up in bed, drawing heavy breaths. This isn’t the first time he’s seen Bodhi like this. It hurts all the same. He takes care to make little noise as he gets out of bed, not wanting to alarm Bodhi with the extra noise.

“Bodhi.” He says softly to the pilot, kneeling by the side of his bed. “Bodhi, you’re alright, you’re safe. Just keep breathing.”

Bodhi nods, closing his eyes as he tries to even his air intake as much as he can. His hands shake and he rocks himself slowly back and forth, trying to calm himself. Cassian gets up and fills a mug of water for him. He returns and offers the mug to Bodhi.

The pilot nods his head in thanks, reaching out for a mug carefully taking slow sips from it. Cassian sits on the edge of his bed, looking at the pilot with concern.

Bodhi puts the mug down and takes a shuddering breath.

“Thank you”

“It’s no problem.” Cassian replies.

They sit there together in silence, Bodhi trying to calm his nerves, Cassian unsure of what exactly to do next.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up.” Bodhi starts to apologize.

“It’s no problem, really. K2, he used to help me through these all the time. I understand.”

“He must have meant a lot to you.”

Cassian nods his head. “I found him when I was 14.”

“He told me you re-programmed him?”

“Yeah, it was the first time I tried to re-program a droid like that. I’m glad I was able to have given him a chance.”

Bodhi thinks on what Cassian said, his thumbs tapping the sides of the mug he was holding.

“It was the same for me. Galen Erso- Jyn’s father- he gave me a chance. I don’t know where I’d be now if I hadn’t gotten the courage to continue talking to him.”

“He would have been proud of you Bodhi.”

Bodhi smiles at that. “I like to think that too.”

Bodhi hands Cassian the now empty mug. When Cassian takes it, Bodhi takes one of his hands in his. Cassian is surprised by how surprisingly warm the pilots’ hands feel despite them shaking not moments before.

“Thank you again Cassian.” He says, his eyes showing nothing but gratitude.

Cassian feels that if he were to reach inside himself right now there would be nothing but the space and stars.

\--

They clear him for transport piloting a few days later. Having a routine and being able to regularly fly ships in and out of the base comforts Bodhi, giving his mind something to focus on. Luckily activity around Hoth so far has been quiet, so the transports for lookout missions have been peaceful. Bodhi is grateful for that.

A new development besides being cleared for transport is the appearance of Cassian in the hangar when Bodhi returns from a mission. It’s a welcome surprise and it reminds Bodhi subtly about the times he would meet with Galen when he finished a transport. This feels different however, which Bodhi contributes to his growing interest in the captain. Something he isn’t too sure is wise.

It’s the same every time they meet in the hangar. Bodhi greets Cassian, Cassian returns the exchange under the guise he was doing checks in the hangar. Bodhi brings this up later to Jyn, the two of them sharing a meal, their other friends having other things to attend to then. Jyn shrugs her shoulders and says the captain’s just weird like that. Bodhi agrees but he also thinks about the look Cassian gave him when he told the captain he was now officially part of the rebellion.

“You always were Bodhi. Welcome home.” He had said.

Bodhi wonders if it’s selfish of him to want his home be with Cassian.

\--

The sirens blare on Hoth. Imperial ships have been spotted and they need to evacuate now. Bodhi’s hands shake as he goes over his mental list of things he needs to prepare as he loads the transport ship with supplies.

He hears someone calling out to him. Looking up over the supplies he sees Cassian push through the crowds of people getting to their ships. He stands as Cassian makes his way over to him.

“Jyn’s getting her stuff and Baze and Chirrut are on their way over. Are you ready?”

Bodhi nods his head. “As I’ll ever be yeah, just doing last prep on the ship.”

Cassian holds Bodhi’s gaze before his next words. “I won’t be going with you.”

Bodhi’s eyes go wide. “What do you mean?”

“I’m in charge of getting data off of Hoth, important data. I need to take my own transport.”

Bodhi shakes his head, unsure of what to say next. “They’ll target your ship; you’d be much safer with us.”

“That also endangers you and I’m not willing to take that risk.”

Bodhi searches Cassian’s eyes. “I don’t like this.” He says. “I know it’s your mission but I’m telling you now I don’t have a good feeling about it.”

“I’ll be fine. I promise.”

Bodhi takes a breath, looking away from Cassian. _They always promise that_ he thinks.

“Bodhi. Listen to me.”

Bodhi looks back to Cassian, Cassian takes both his hands, placing them on Bodhi’s shoulders, bringing their heads together. Bodhi takes in a breath.

“Your home is with the rebellion now Bodhi, as is mine. Please trust me. I’ll be fine and I’ll come back to you.”

His eyes seem impossibly deep and Bodhi can’t stop thinking about if their faces were a bit closer.

Bodhi nods his head. “Fine. Fly safely.”

Cassian closes his eyes, one of his hands going to the back of Bodhi’s head as he embraces the pilot. Bodhi returns the embrace.

“I will. May the force be with you Bodhi Rook.”

“May the force be with you Cassian.”

Cassian lets go of Bodhi and steps back. He looks as if he has something more to say, but he turns away and heads towards an unmarked x-wing in the distance. Bodhi feels like he’s been hollowed out.

\--

They survive. Narrowly. Which is more than he could’ve hoped for. When they land at the meeting point Chirrut points out how the force guided their ship. Bodhi only hopes that Cassian experienced the same fortune.

They check in and Bodhi asks about Cassian, if his ship made contact yet. The pit in his stomach feels deeper when they tell him there has been no word of Cassian yet. Jyn reassures him that the captain will be fine. Bodhi isn’t sure what to think.

\--

Cassian isn’t sure where he is. He made the jump to hyperspace on a whim, needing to get off Hoth as soon as possible, one of his engines blown from a stray fire. The ship around him is screaming, reporting slowing failures on the ship's system. Cassian punches in the coordinates for the meeting point and hopes that this will work.

 _I promised him_ is the last thing he thinks as the ship comes out of hyperspace, his destination in view, as the ship starts shutting down.

\--

 

Bodhi was sitting in the ship, polishing his goggles anxiously when he gets the news. Jyn rushes in, breathless, a frenzied look in her eyes. 

“They found him, he’s here.”

They both rush to the temporary med bay set up. Cassian is sitting on an examination table, being checked over when they enter. He’s bruised and bloodied from the crash, but that doesn’t stop him from getting up and hobbling over to Jyn and Bodhi, a relieved smile on his face when he sees them.

They crash into him with an embrace and he wheezes. “Gentle please.” He says.

They let go of him, giving him room to catch his breath.

“You made it.” Bodhi says, filled with relief.

“I said I was going to come back to you, didn’t I?” Cassian asks, looking softly at the pilot.

Bodhi feels his heart swell and he reaches for Cassian again, this time kissing him. Cassian sighs into the kiss, his hand reaching up and curling itself into Bodhi’s hair. Bodhi feels like this is it, this is coming home.

The person who was checking over Cassian before Jyn and Bodhi interrupted coughs and they separate. Cassian nods to them before looking back to Bodhi, his eyes glimmering.

“We need to talk after I get patched up.” He says.

“Yeah, we’ll do that.” Bodhi replies, breathless from the kiss. 

Cassian leans his head forward to give Bodhi one final, soft kiss before turning back to get patched up.

“Well that was something” Jyn teases as they leave the med bay. Bodhi laughs and feels lighter than he’s ever been.

\--

They lie with their legs tangled, Cassian’s hand carding through Bodhi’s hair. The pilots’ breath soft, in time with his own. The future remains uncertain despite the gaining foothold the rebellion seems to be getting thanks to Skywalker and his friends. He doesn’t know when is the last time he’ll spend like this with Bodhi, when the last time it will be that he’ll share a meal or conversation with Baze, Chirrut, or Jyn.

He’s glad though that he has this. And he finds it’s enough for now.


End file.
